I had a friend who tried to commit suicide. He was unsuccessful, thankfully, but once I felt comfortable talking to him about it, about 6 months later, I asked him (He brought up the subject, so I felt it was ok to ask). He told me there is no 'reason' why someone picks that particular moment to do the deed. He wasn't sitting around thinking about how to commit suicide (he's a really smart guy, so I figure if he had actually given it some thought, he'd have easily succeeded), he just got up, grabbed the 'rope' (it was an extension cord), tossed it over the rafter, put it around his neck and jumped off the ladder. Luckily it broke (the cord). He wasn't contemplating the act. There is no rhyme nor reason. He just, in that moment, did it. We knew he'd been having marital troubles, etc., but he never talked about ending his life. In fact, he was a lot like most of the people on this forum- he fixed things. He was very good at it. I agree that if someone you know is talking about suicide, or giving the signs that they are thinking about it, say something. But what do you do when there is no real outward sign?

 

I guess people are all different.....
My Grandfather served in Italy in WWII late 43 - VE day, he saw things, experienced things, over there that make today's wars seem pretty tame.
Shelled for 3 straight days and nights at Anzio, 2/3rd of his platoon gone right there, attacked from above by the German Luftwaffe and the Italian AF, hunkered in hole for a week where, trying to stand up would get you instant death from German snipers, facing a Panzer assault by tanks they had NO way of stopping, shell holes full of pieces of human beings, corpses of civilians stuck in trees (bombing was not very accurate in those days) his best buddy blown in half by a mortar.
A enemy that was in many cases better trained and having better weapons, who fought back blow for blow, not the Iraqi army or coward insurgents.

Yet he came home, re-assumed his life, built his family, business, and pursued life with a vengeance, and went out kicking and screaming at 89.

I know, different times, different generation.

 

One of the things that is different today is that the workplace is not the same as it was years ago.

I looked at an avionics outfit a few years ago for a possible job, and the boss there straight up said that it wasn't like the military - you had to produce...

I had to bite my tongue at that point - the guy they had doing transponders (IFF) was wearing his ass as a hat.

 

What he may or may not have told you were the stories of his squad mates who were never quite the same afterward. Not everyone who witnesses horrible actions is scarred forever. More correctly, I would have to assume that those things do scar everyone, but for some the scars aren't as easily hidden. I don't know, I've never been in combat, although I've seen people die, just not in direct conflict. Still, seeing that kind of carnage has to leave an impression on everyone, whether or not they talk about it. And, as Ken pointed out, it isn't necessarily the combat that makes the veteran want to commit suicide, it could be anything.

 

He had no one from his outfit to talk to after the war, most KIA'd in Italy, or scattered across the country to their homes and were short-timers in the outfit.
He did have a buddy who was Marine in the Pacific, and fought in Tarawa and Iwo Jima...............That was a entire different war, he did come home scarred.
Another friend was a B-17 crewman over Germany, not much to say except for the guys you never saw again and empty spots on the flight-line(lots of em')...........Airman's war was impersonal and disconnected.

 

Hi all, Matt here coming over from the "other joint". I am actually glad to see this post up top. I am involved with an organization looking help with the epidemic that is veteran suicide. Some of us are active duty, some like my self have transferred to CIVDIV. Others are civilian supporters. We have all lost someone, be it a buddy or a family member or friend. One of the biggest issues we see is when you are transferring to CIVDIV, you get maybe a week of "training" to prep you for life outside the military. Then if you have PTSD, TBI or the like, you are put on these pills that even on the warnings to the Doc's, they are known to cause suicidal tendencies. Couple that with the isolation, you fell all alone because your buddies, the ones that know you better than your own blood family are gone. And the Stigma that is put on any kind of service related mental illness, it needs to go. We have lost more personnel to suicide than combat. That is a problem. And it is a problem that the powers that be do not want to knowledge. We aim to change that. I don't want to get all soap boxy so I'll calm down and stop here. If anyone wants more info, let me know.

 

Matt - I hear you, bud.

There are a lot of programs out there, and a lot of stuff that might help, but getting there in time seems to be the biggest single thing.

You walk off the base for the last time, and where do you go?

It isn't like there is a big sign saying:
"HELP IS ON THE WAY!"

or

"GO HERE, WE CAN HELP."

So we chuck our seabags or whatever over our shoulders and march on out into civilian life as we think it is going to be.
~and it doesn't turn out to be so easy...

Oh crap.

We just got out of a career or something we think of as steady employment, and all of the damned rules are changed.
Life in the civvie sector isn't fair. A lot of those people out there don't even tolerate one another, they have never been under a constraint of equal opportunity for cripes sakes, and a lot of the employers where I am located practice NEPOTISM to such a degree that if you are not a family member, or a good friend of one - YOU JUST AIN'T GETTING A JOB.

Where do you go? Whattaya do?

A man at an Avionics repair facility even had the audacity to tell me:
"This isn't like the military. You have to PRODUCE"

When from what I could see, they didn't have any production going on with IFF Transponders at all, a unit I had mastered the repair of ages ago.

So we wander out the gates to our expected wonderful future and it all comes crashing to the pavement.

~Well damn.


So now what?
Become a BAGGER at the local fooking grocery?

 

Anything that makes my BP go up to 170 over 90 is no mental illness - it's a life threatening problem.

~Just saying

That's what it was doing when I came home, and is why there are a ton of empty medicine containers on a shelf in the back bathroom

And that is why I love my puppies, my plants, my simple hobbies, and a quiet life.
I don't want my heart to explode

You may at times think me a PUSSY, which is not a thing I had a chance to be with the way I grew up. But that was what I found myself facing in the end.

Chill out, or explode. Those are my choices

What would you do?